Week 4 Recap

The first quarter of the season in the books and BYE weeks are starting now! I thought I would celebrate with a set of superlatives for every team.

Standings

Don’t be fooled - the top two teams have had narrow escapes, while Samantha is racking up points (and virtually tied for #1 in Power Rankings).

Ryan and Erik are doing their best to not stand out at the party nobody invited them to.

Also - Biz, what are you doing here?

Superlatives

Let’s hand out some first quarter awards!!

I’m just here for the cocktails

THE TEAM BUCKEYES

When you score 30 points one week and are averaging 50 - you’re just hoping for someone to screw up at the very last minute and bail you out.

Which brings us to…

A Ribbon for Even Tom Brady thinks your rings are dusty

Grow a Pair and Go for Two

Yeah - you have some rings, but at this point, your roster is rougher than Tom’s first week on Fox.

John Madden reminds you that the team that scores the most points wins…Award

Murray Up and Wait

If you actually play the players that you drafted…you score points!

Judging by the sad state of the leaderboard, if you can actually score points, you’ll probably win!

Unlike…

PAC-12 Referee Award for unbelievable performances

Seattle Suckmyhawks

Week 2 - GREAT WEEK. All the other weeks? Not so much. It’s obviously the officials fault.

It’s NOT Always Sunny in Philadelphia Award

Toomey Smalls

Why do you have so many Eagles? Jason Kelce leaves and they all suck now.

You signed up for this.

It’s Not Right, but it’s OK Award

Team Ship Show

You team is 2-2. You’ve scored as many points as points against. Tied with Erik for the last playoff spot.

It’s…fine.

Washington Huskies Award for under-performance

The EBDB

Those are some nice players you have there. Too bad about CMC. You probably want to just bail on him and save the space for Kupp.

Who knows, maybe Josh Allen WON’T throw the most INTs this year. Who are we kidding - of course he will.

And let’s be honest, you aren’t beating Samantha with that roster.

WTF IS HAPPENING AWARD

JBeeZyn

Who knew all it took was a name change to make JB’s team competitive?

Just Chill Award

OMG WHO DO I PICK

We’re only four weeks in an Ryan has ANOTHER NEW team name. That usually takes until Week 8 when the Ravens are battling Harbaugh’s playcalling and Ryan starts to worry that none of his teams will make the playoffs.

I know half your roster is injured or on the trade block, and nobody has heard of your best players but…dude. Chill.

Khloe Kardashian Revenge Tour Award

The Schitt List

She took a close loss to JB in Week 3…but other than that, Samantha is straight dominating right now. Time will tell if this team has got Tristan Thompson vibes or is more of a Greg Oden situation.

Worst Team as a Dad Joke Award

Lamar I Hear it Lamar I Like It

You’re undefeated. Fine. But I can’t even with that team name. I don’t even think ChatGPT could come up with that one.

Your team is basically the Seattle Mariners Award

DO YOU HAVE ANY TDS!?!

I may be in first now…but we all know what’s coming.

Too many tinkering waiver wire pickups, skate into the playoffs (or barely miss them), bounce on the first weekend.

Fireworks anyone?

Schedule Notes

We ALSO Jhave our first London game: Jets vs Vikings (kickoff @ 6:30am PST)

BYE weeks start this week.