Week 2 - 3 Recap

Let’s start with the standings

Standings

That’s two great weeks of football (as long as you haven’t been watching the Seahawks, ugh). The matchups have all been competitive, in Week 3 two matchups were separated by less than 2 points. On the flip side, we’ve seen three blowouts (3TD or more). The biggest blowout in the last two weeks was Grow a Pair and Go for 2 over Team Ship Show. Then Blythe decided to ship up and send Uncle Crab Crab to the deep in Week 3. I’m now officially out of nautical puns. Oh wait, the minute CMC’s hamstring acted up, the Seattle Suckmyhawks future dropped like an anchor. Now I’m out of nautical puns.

Team of the Week

The Bizness, Week 3. Biz got off to a ROUGH start, with his defense scoring -6. His core players matched up almost 1:1 with The Schitt List, and got a huge bump when Justin Tucker hit an NFL record 66-yard Field Goal. Fun fact - in September 2017, Tucker was the Raven’s #1 selling Jersey. If you watch the video of the kick, you can hear Ryan yelling JUUUUUSSSSTTIN TUUUUCKER - and then asking Alexa to order 7 Tucker t-shirts.

Going into Monday Night Football - JB needed every projected point from Jalen Hurts. Through the first half, it wasn’t happening. But then, Hurts found his best RW3 impression and literally scored the bare minimum points for JB to win. The final margin was .2 points - that’s two kneel downs from Lamar - the current #1 selling Ravens Jersey. Nice Win Biz.

Player of the Week

Tom Brady, owned by Older Butt Wiser. Jon has been the beneficiary of two 30+ point games and a 27 points game. He’s the ageless wonder - but did you know that he’s only 4 years older than Jon? I looked on Wikipedia and found that in both 1977 and 1981 (when Tom and Jon were born, respectively) - the Oakland Raiders went to the Super Bowl. The 2021 Raiders are 3-0. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

Also - Brady is literally playing on a Madden team, so if he scores LESS than 30 points, he’s not trying hard enough.

Matchup of the Week

Toomey Smalls vs Original Recipe, Week 2. This one was notable because of how close it wasn’t. The reigning champ dropped 41 from King Henry and 20 from the Bucs DST and that was the ballgame. Even Aaron Jones 41 points wasn’t enough to get Original Recipe in the ballpark. Somehow she also landed 19 points from Henry Ruggs - who couldn’t catch a cold in 2020. But then again, that’s why she’s the reigning champ and Chris’ team is named after fried chicken.

I do feel better that the same defense only scored -2.5 points this week.

Bench En Fuego

Two straight weeks, two benches on fire. Which team? The Original Recipes - Zack Moss, Mike Williams (twice), D’Andre Swift. That’s like 80 points in two weeks (which is how many points I scored last week). That is some elite-level decision making. It doesn’t quite rate the Dumpster Fire……but it’s close

Weeks 4/5 Schedule

No byes - but DAMN look at Week 5. Rams + Seahawks? Bills + Chiefs? Colts + Ravens (only Ryan cares about this matchup - dude, let it go).