Week 1 Recap

Every year, the 10am games for the first week of football sneaks up. Lots of last minute tinkering with lineups, wondering if the Seahawks will be good and I’ll finally be able to open the blue and green Maker’s Mark, and being reminded that, yes, it is ok to have a beer at 10am. Then immediately after kickoff it becomes - OMG my team sucks again, where are all the points I was promised?!?

Between new teams, injuries, and rookies (so many rookies!) - Week 1 is always a bit of a crap shoot - for fantasy AND real-life football. Not Jacksonville State beats FSU drama, but pretty close.

Standings

Team of the Week

Seattle Suckmyhawks, coached by Dr. Julian Fohrman M.D; Sucks at fantasy football. I guess Ju took Mike Leach’s advice to heart. He picked himself off the mat, and won his matchup against Toomey Smalls by 25 points. Not only that, he was the first team to clear 100. The combo of Kyler Murray, CMC, Tyler Lockett, and Miles Sanders (seriously?!?) were more than enough to handily defeat the defending champion.

That type of performance is worthy of recap recognition. Who knows - maybe what Julian needed all along was the Heart of a…………

Nope. That ain’t it. Nice job Ju.

Player of the Week

Aaron Rodgers, owned by THE Team Buckeyes. Unfortunately, I think College Football Saturday carried over into Morgan’s Fantasy performance. Just like her beloved Buckeyes, the reigning NFL MVP drastically underperformed despite a massive hype train all offseason. He finished with a whopping -1.68 points. Part of that was his two interceptions - but to be fair, he had a great reason for at least one of them.

“I don’t like to make a lot of excuses for interceptions,” Rodgers said. "There’s some shit ones. There’s some ones you wish you had back. There’s some ones that really aren’t your fault. That one was entirely due to the double nut shot I took.”

But then again, with that hairdo, I can’t blame the defense for taking those shots.

Matchup of the Week

This one was tough. There was a great matchup between Original Recipe and The Bizness.

Eclipsing that bargain basement matchup was the 🔥 between Grow a Pair and Go For Two and Uncle Crab Crab.

For the first time….forever, Ryan didn’t stack his team full of Ravens. Leading with Russ and his MVP-caliber dismantling of the Colts, and a surprising performance from Joe Mixon - he was set up for a blowout. Then, for the rest of Sunday he had to watch as his entire team ran around and did nothing. His best non-QB performance came off his bench (Jaylen Waddle).

Meanwhile, Megan placed her bets on the dynamic duo of Mahomes and Kelce. It looked like it wasn’t going to pay off - until it did. Backed up by the pickup of the week - the Carolina Defense made short work of the Jets. But like Ryan, the rest of her team was pretty pedestrian.

Coming into Monday Night Football - Ryan needed a dynamic performance from Waller and Jacobs….and until the second half it just wasn’t in the cards. Then somehow the Raiders started scoring and didn’t stop until both Ryan and the Raiders won. The Browns are going to win the division anyways, so the Ravens just got a head start on their tanking campaign 😃

Bench En Fuego

The most points on the bench go to The Bizness, but he won so it doesn’t really count. So the inaugural recipient of EN FUEGO goes to Grow a Pair and Go For Two.

Ja’Marr Chase had a sparkling ⭐ 15.9 ⭐ points on the bench - which would have been enough to eke out a win over Ryan. But I can’t blame her - when choosing between the Bears and the Bengals, I’d probably take Doug Baldwin.